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New Bio-Terror Weapon Unleashed!!

What we laughlingly call "responsible authorities" in Washington D.C. deny the following unclassified story.

A new threat is about to terrorize the MidWest: insurgent cicadas.

Yes, the Bush administration has once again lied to America, despite Dubya's complaint that "Rumsfeld never mentioned anything about any goddam cicadas."

But fear not, for Cincinnati has faced the latest challenge with a Rapid Response High-Tech invention: the Cicada Swatter(tm).

While the Cicada Swatter(tm) may look like an ordinary badmitton racket, that's a part of its 21st Century stealth technology. Don't be fooled by cheap copies imported from haughty, nuanced France!

Scoring (number of swatted bugs) is as follows:
- 20 swats: Hunter.
- 70 swats: Predator
-100 swatts: CICADANATOR

Now available at Cincinnati Walgreens and Krogers. Website (under construction) here.


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Comments (1)

We're waitin' for 'em in the DC Metropolitan area, too! In fact, I look like a real idiot, taking my camera with me everywhere I go so I can take a picture of the first one I see...

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 12, 2004 11:07 PM.

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